Disclaimer: Although this book was gifted by Trigger Publishing, this is an honest review of “Bring Me To Light.”
“Eleanor Segall’s life was beginning. An aspiring actress and a family girl, she never though her future would be derailed by mental illness. After a spate of depressive and manic episodes, panic attacks and social anxiety, Eleanor found herself in The Priory at age 16. The diagnosis? Bipolar I disorder.
But Eleanor didn’t let it stop her for long. Now a successful blogger, journalist, and pillar of the mental health and Jewish communities, she writes about finding recovery and hope after being unwell.
Her story of picking herself back up again and surviving against the odds will resonate with many – and it can help you find that light in the darkness too. “
Having followed Eleanor for some time, I was pleasantly surprised when Trigger Publishing offered me a free book ahead of its release.
From chapter one I was able to find similarities between Eleanor’s childhood and that of my own. Eleanor’s childhood was not dissimilar to mine. The family structure, religious undertones, social interaction, school pressures, and mental illness is all too familiar. In fact, on several occasions, it felt as if ‘Bring Me To Light’ was written with me in mind.
“I was born into a family that made me feel safe, loved and supported. Mum and Dad were delighted to become parents, so I was spoilt by the whole family, especially since I was the first grandchild on my dad’s side and the first granddaughter on my mum’s.”
Page 17, Bring Me To Light.
Eleanor touches on many difficult subjects throughout such as religion, mental illness, divorce, death and inpatient treatment. We learn very quickly that her father has also been diagnosed with bipolar. Although suffering from frequent manic and depressive episodes throughout the nineties, he wasn’t formally diagnosed until 2000. His own narrative appears at various points throughout the book, giving us further insight into the effects of the illness.
“During those nine years in which I went undiagnosed, I experienced three manic episodes, each followed by a depressive one. Over time, each manic episode and each depressive episode got progressively worse.”
Page 23, Bring Me To Light; Eleanor’s Father.
She describes how her illness began to appear in high school with frequent symptoms of depression. This was followed by an episode of mania while on a trip to Isreal with her youth group. Concerned about her overly sexual and out of character behaviour, Eleanor’s father was called to come and take her home. After a meeting with her psychiatrist she was given prescribed tranquilsers and sleep. No change was made to her previous diagnoses of depression and anxiety.
It’s only as Eleanor starts back to school that cracks begin to appear. Finally, after experiencing delusions of sexual abuse, she’s admitted to *The Priory for treatment.
Unsurprisingly, Eleanor experienced a decline in her confidence and self-esteem following her admission. She describes feeling ‘like a freak’ because of her mental illness, which subsequently leads to social anxiety.
“After all that had happened to me, I had a low opinion of myself. I still partly blame myself for my illness and everything that happened to me in Israel. I was embarressed that I had wanted to kiss boys I had only just met: it just wasn’t in my character.
I didn’t know who I was. Who was this teenager with the crazy, uncontrollable brain?”
Page 54, Bring Me To Light.
As someone who has struggled with mental illnesses throughout her life, I understand these feelings all too well. It’s taxing to spend everyday hyper-aware that others are reacting differently to you due to your diagnosis. Although is difficult to deal with as an adult, as a teenager this increases tenfold. Adults may be unforgiving, but empathy among teenagers is significantly lower.
However, despite everything, Eleanor bounced back! She completed her A-Levels, and would later go onto University. Here she began to flourish in a new environment, and among new people. She continued to pursue her love of acting, got involved in Jewish Societies and expanded her faith. Eleanor even took various trips to both India and Ghana, a milestone by any stretch.
Eleanor began blogging while in outpatient treatment as both an outlet for her thoughts and to provide education to others. Like many of those with mental and physical illness, Eleanor’s writing became like therapy. When the words are placed on page or screen, they’re less likely to be bouncing off the walls of our brains. It’s a perfect example of how art, of any kind, can release built-up tension.
She has also successfully worked with mental health organisations such as Time to Change, Mind and SANE, and has even written for publications such as The Telegraph, Glamour and Happiful Magazine.
“Bring Me To Light” is a wonderful and brutally honest account of living with Bipolar Disorder. For anyone who lives with any illness, chronic or mental, should read this book. Like me, you’ll find yourself identifying with parts of Eleanor’s past.
I found it quite difficult to read some chapters as I empathised quite a bit with her emotions and thought patterns. With that being said I do love a book that makes me feel strong emotions, as many memoirs usually do.
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I never get tired of knowing new books, maybe I never thought of them, and then once I read they make me so happy!
I love a good book as well. Especially one which touches me how this one has.
Wow this sounds like an amazing book and story. I'm going to add it to my Goodreads. Thanks for the honest review!
Thank you so much for reading the review. I certainly urge you to read it when it's released. Eleanor was so brave bearing her soul to us like this.
I would love to check this one out, seems very interesting!!! I am almost done with the book i am reading now.
I enjoyed it so much I read it twice (although, once I was taking notes for the review). It's certainly worth a read upon it's release date.
Thank you for sharing this I am for sure going to read Be your own light! I come from a family with anxiety, depression, substance abuse and manic bipolar so mental health is always on my mind.
You'll find this very relatable then. My family is the same in regards to depression etc so it's certainly being passed on to them. Thank you so much for reading the review :)
Very uplifting story leave me with teary eyed while reading it. Experiencing depression is not easy I hope we all can find peace and harmony in our life no matter what situation we are in.
The book is certainly worth a read. I'm not ashamed to admit I may have had a wee cry at one point because it's just very relatable for me, despite the fact I've never suffered from Bipolar. Mental illness and the treatment of it is just a very relateable experience across the board.
This sounds like such a fascinating read. I've suffered with depression and anxiety my whole life so I can definitely relate.
It's certainly worthy of bookcase status. I'm passing it on to friends and family because I loved it so much. It was just so relatable to me.
My dad and brother had manic depression. This is a tough disease to watch someone suffer with.
It is. I have family members suffering the same thing, and have had friends also suffering. It can be so hard to watch when things go wrong.
How inspirational to see someone who had such a difficult life and used it to help others with what she learned. Great review!
It's a truly excellent book. I got through it in just over a day, and then read it again just for the review. Definitely worth the second reading.
Oh, that would be such a good read. I love when authors get raw and real!
Thank you for reading the review!
The book sounds incredible. I work with patients suffering from mental illness and I know that tge struggle is real. The tough part is that almost everyone has some degree of MI but go undiagnosed. But they call us crazy. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you so much for commenting and sharing your insight. A lot of people are in denial about their mental health, like you said, which means they lean more heavily into bashing those of us who have actually sought help. Or at least in my experience.
I would love to read this book because it's reading from that perspective of someone that helps bipolar issues