How do healthy friendships benefit our mental health? Why do we need friends in our lives, and how can they help us become a better version of ourselves?
I’m the first to admit that I like my own company, but I don’t like to be lonely. The worst thing about living in the country is being so far away from the majority of my friends. When I lived in the city I always had friends around the corner, or it was always simple to meet up for coffee because of how close everything was. Now it’s a 20 + minute journey to see any life outside my neighbors.
Alex and I have been friends for over 10 years now. That’s right, we’ve officially passed the 7-year rule! We’ve been together through thick and thin. Even during my first run in with anorexia, Alex was there.
Alex is what all good friends should be. He’s supportive, motivating, provides a listening ear when needs be and we often get together for self-confessed ‘bitching’ sessions. When we were younger it was always great to get up to his house for a sneaky cigarette and some much loved video games.
Nothing could ever come between us, not even those few months of radio silence that we all slip into thanks to adult life. No matter the trouble we both know that we’re only a phone call away!
International Friendship day is not just about my friendship with Alex, it’s about the love and loyalty we have for each other, the comfort we provide and the life long brother that I have in him.
Speaking from personal experience my best friend has always been my biggest supporter. No matter what I want to do with my life, even if it’s the most farfetched thing you’ve ever heard of, Alex has been right there to tell me to go for it! But he’s also the first to tell me when I need to reign it in.
Not only is Alex there to motivate and support, but when life hits me with no motivation, pessimistic thinking, and mental fatigue, Alex has always been there to kick my ass!
As he puts it:
As friends, we need to be able to give each other a swift reality check when needs be. If you’re wearing a terrible outfit or your makeup isn’t blended, you’d want to know, right? True friends are able to give us the harsh facts that we don’t necessarily want to hear, and vice versa. Honesty is the best policy with friendship, even if it stings.
Whenever we need a shoulder to cry on, our friends are there, and vice versa. As friends we should be there for each other in times of need should this be for small, mini breakdowns or during harder times such as the death of a loved one. Friendships are built on a solid foundation of listening to each other, having empathy for someone else’s struggles and allowing them to talk it out.
Not everyone is capable of having a private therapist, but sometimes friends can do just as good a job as any.
Schedule a coffee date or a night out with your friends. Take the time to ask them how they are and offer a shoulder to cry on if they need it. Yes, they may already know this but it never hurts to give them a friendly reminder.
(I should note I am not suggesting that you forego a professional therapist should you need one, I am simply stating that friends can act as one in times of need).
If you ever want someone to praise you for all the little things you do, trust your friends. Personally speaking, Alex has been there for me throughout my blogging journey. He sees the work I put in, and even feeds into that with words of encouragement and, on occasion, brainstorms with me to help boost my creativity.
More times than I not my friends have been the only ones to ever understand me. This was especially true when I was growing up. For a long time my friends ‘got me‘ in a way my parents and family members didn’t. In fact, that’s still going on today, with a lot of my friends reassuring and listening to me about things my family just don’t get.
Friendship means being able to empathise with someone else’s situation, or at least being able to understand to some degree. Although Alex has never had an eating disorder, he is able to understand where I must be coming from and reassure me when things take a dark turn.
This one doesn’t really need much explanation. Having friends to go and talk to keeps us socially active. You don’t necessarily have to leave your house to talk to them, but it helps in reducing the feelings on loneliness.
Like I mentioned above, Alex and I have been through thick and thin together. We’ve grown from little babies doing our GCSEs to fully fledged adults, waddling around with no idea what we’re doing!
For years we have watched each other make stupid decisions and bad, we’ve been there through bad jobs, horrible family situations, house malfunctions etc.
Growing up is part of life and it’s one we can’t get away from, but it’s much nicer with someone to beside you, laughing when you fall (and then picking you up, because friendship).
How many times have you needed moral support or even physical support in your life? Surely the first people you think of are your friends and family (arguably, our family can be like our friends to a certain extent. It’s different for everyone). Friendship is about being there for one another with both a listening ear (as mentioned above) and a lift when needed.
For example, my parent’s home has been a wake house for over 6 weeks now after the passing of both my grandfather and grandmother. It’s been hard, but they’ve had friends and other family calling offering help.
When we needed to take my grandfather up to the grave we had several offerings of good will to help us do this. As my grandfather is not an able-bodied man anymore, it can be hard for my father to get him in and out of the car. Luckily we had my cousin offering to help. We didn’t need this because I ended up going and it was a lot easier than expected, but the kindness was still there.
So, if you need a couch moved like that much-loved scene in Friends, then call on your own friends to help you out. If the friendship stands true, then you’ll never have to lift a raggedy couch alone again.
Happy International Day of Friendships (July 30th). How do you think friendships can benefit us mentally? Are there any other ways your friends have helped you that I may not have mentioned?
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Alex sounds like a great friend. A friend will enable you, a best friend calls you on your shit, and tell you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear.
Friends are something that we occasionally take for granted. As you have clearly outlined in your post, friends help us in so many ways. I know from personal experience that when I get into a depressed state and I shut myself off, it's not good. As soon as I make an effort to connect with my friends again, there is a definite change. Thanks for sharing - sounds like you have a great friend in Alex!
Alex is truly amazing. I can't wait until he joins the world of social media so I can big him up as much as he deserves! Thank you so much for stopping by and reading :D
Free therapy is the one that gets me through life! I love to TRY and make my friends laugh to brighten their day. I loved that you used Friends pictures for this!
I thought it only fitting to use Friends pictures! Thank you so much for stopping by and reading :D
Thank you for this! And I'll have to add that being in recovery you find those friends that are going to be with you through thick and thin. ♥️
100%. You find out who are the people that matter in your life, and who really doesn't matter.
Healthy friendships are so important. I like how you made that a point in the beginning of the post. Often people are who are lonely fall in with toxic individuals simply because they are looking for a connection. I did this myself and it took YEARS for me to let go, although I knew they weren't good for me. Now I have some pretty awesome friends who are definitely there for me when things are rough. Great points!
I agree with this 100% ... I've been friends with my bestie for 35 years, and even though we're now living thousands of miles apart, we're still there for each other like we saw each other yesterday or can pop dwn the road for a cup of tea.
Agree with every word! I've found out who my true friends are since I've become disabled, it's not a nice feeling losing those you thought were friends but I appreciate my close friends so much more and we are together through everything and anything. Fantastic post Nyxie! 💚
Thank you so much for stopping by. I'm glad you found this useful :)
I just finished a morning walk with a friend I mainly get to see in the summers. We’re both teachers, so we bounce a lot of ideas off of each other, give encouragement, and share the challenges of our jobs and lives. I totally agree that friends can provide free therapy and boost self esteem. This friend in particular does that for me, and I’m so grateful. Thanks for the post reminding me of the value of friendship!
It's great to have a friend in the same field as you! My friend is in a completely different line of work but has a lot to do with my confidence levels for writing. He encourages me so much and I'm able to bounce ideas off him despite his expertise being elsewhere.
Thank you so much for stopping by and reading :D
I love this and i wholeheartedly believe that good friends could make a world of difference when it comes to mental health.
Terry Mae | https://www.terrysthoughtbubble.co.uk
They certainly can! Thank you so much for stopping by and reading :)
When I was at my lowest, I realised that I had gotten so overwhelmed in what I was doing -- helping others -- that I had completely neglected my self-care. And the friends that I had (physically in the vicinity) were not of the sort that would give me a good kick up the butt.
So - I had to rebuild friendships & my inner circle!
The best thing I've done for my mental wellbeing!
I've had to cut off friends because they've been toxic or just let the friendship fizzle out because I was the one making the effort. It's never easy but it's what we need in the long run. Thank you so much for stopping in and reading :D