The need to self-harm can be severely overwhelming, especially in the wake of a traumatic and emotional event. Although it’s all too easy to give in to the urge, there are safe alternatives that can eventually become healthier coping mechanisms.
What a lot of people don’t understand about self-harm is that it’s addictive. For those who’ve never been there, that doesn’t make sense. How can you get addicted to physically hurting yourself? Although cutting isn’t the only form of self-harm, when you do it, your brain releases endorphins. So although you’ve harmed yourself, you feel calm afterwards, and then you start craving the feeling. Even though self-harm offers temporary relief, I would not recommend staring it at all. People who self-harm do so because they’re already dealing with things like mental illness, bullying, abuse etc, getting addicted to self-harm becomes yet another battle. It’s not worth it.
If you are self-harming these alternatives can help you stop.
A lot of these can depend on why you’re self-harming. Some do it because they’re so numb they want to feel anything at all, some want to punish themselves, everyone has different reasons so the alternative that works for you won’t work for everyone.
These involve creating something when the urge to self-harm strikes to take your mind off it. You can do whatever you want, be it draw, sing, play music, but these projects were created specifically for people trying to stop self-harming as you can track your progress.
The paper chains project means that you make a coloured paper chain every day and the days that you relapse you make a white paper chain. It can help you visibly track your progress and can be motivation not to give in to the urges by looking at your rainbow chain.
The stars project is similar to the paper chains project as you make something every day. This time you make little origami stars in white, and for the days you relapse you make a black star. You’re not limited to these colours for either project, you can use whatever paper you want. This is a little bit more discreet as a big obvious paper chain on your wall might lead to questioning, but small paper stars can be put in a box.
For the butterfly project you have to draw a butterfly where ever you feel like harming yourself and name it after someone you love. The point of it is to let the butterfly fade away naturally, so if you self-harm while it’s there you “kill” the butterfly. This is arguably one of the more well-known self-harm alternatives as butterflies have become a symbol of recovery. The idea is that you’re supposed to see the butterfly and think about how the person you named if after would feel about you self-harming, and also there’s motivation to keep the butterfly “alive. I found I stuck to it if I named the butterfly after someone I really loved like a family member… and more often, members of My Chemical Romance.
Some people don’t like this one as they feel that it essentially guilts you into not self-harming, which is perfectly fine. Recovery isn’t the same for everyone.
Also known as the glass jar project, for this, you get a glass jar and add food colouring, and glitter and shake it as hard as you can whenever you want to self-harm, and watch the glitter settle back down on the end. Repeat as many times as you want.
Alternatively, you can just buy a snowglobe.
Some people just need to be distracted to ride the urges out, here are some ideas:
Substitutes aren’t ideal however sometimes you’re not in a place to distract yourself or make something.
Holding ice-cubes to your wrist can be a substitute for the sensation of self-harming. If you don’t want to make a mess, those reusable ice-cube moulds can help and actually are probably a better idea.
Tiger balm is traditionally used on sore muscles but you can put it on where you feel like harming. The tingly feeling might offer some relief.
Take a marker or red pen and draw lines where you want to self-harm. For some people, they self-harm because they find it comforting to see how they feel on the inside represented on the outside. However, like all addictions, you wake up the next morning and feel shame. For this one, waking up the next day and only finding Sharpie you can wash off, is better.
Technically this one counts as self-harm, so I’m putting it last as self-harm alternative because it might be best to try the others first. All forms of intentionally harming yourself are self-harm however if you were cutting and are trying not to, its a step in the right direction. Think of it like a smoker using nicotine patches. This is is a case of wearing a rubber band or hair tie on your wrist and pulling it when you feel the urge to self-harm. This got me through school because of course I couldn’t whip out an ice cube or start drawing on myself in class, but no one thought twice about the hair tie on my wrist.
Self-harm for me started because I had no idea how to cope with what I now know was depression. I was also so angry at life, the world, and myself that I took my pain out on myself. The rubber bands helped in bad moments, but my favourite alternative was the butterfly project. I actually got a butterfly tattooed on my wrist the second I turned 18!
These self-harm alternatives can help in the moment but I’d also strongly encourage seeking help. There is an underlying issue when it comes to self-harm that needs to be addressed, you can also learn better-coping mechanisms than self-destruction.
Just like how some people use smoking, drinking or drugs as a coping mechanism, others hurt themselves. Some people’s way of dealing with their problems is to self-destruct, and self-harm is their vice of choice.
Recovery isn’t linear, you might relapse a few times before eventually, self-harm becomes a thing of the past. Just pick yourself up and keep going.
I used to feel like it was something I would never be able to beat, but I did, and you will too.
Aisling (pronounced Ash-ling) is a 23-year old Irish blogger from This Dreams Alive and Prickly Pineapples. She’s passionate about mental health, eco-friendly living, books, and coffee.
Be sure to check out Ash’s Blog!
Interested in her writing? She’s written for the blog before! You can find her previous article here!
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These are all really good alternatives, I kind of like them for anxiety as well. I may have to participate even though I don't self-harm. As always thanks for sharing Nyxie. And I hope you're doing well.
Thank you for reading Krysten. I'm doing alright in light of recent health updates! Stay safe! x
I love all of these alternatives. I hope people would turn to these instead of self harm. This is a great list.
Thank you so much for reading. I'm glad you found this informative :) x
Is so unfortunate that people harm themselves. Everybody has a whole world in their mind we don't know the suffer, we just know that if this helps them to avoid that is a good thing.
Thank you for reading. It's very sad what most people have to go through in their own minds.
I like that these can help people when they feel like self harming. I have seen therapy dogs help too
Therapy animals can be a huge help! Although no licensed I find that my cats can be of great help!
Thank you so much for reading :)
I have never heard of any of these, but I love them all! My daughter had a snowglobe in her favorite colors for anxiety. The butterfly idea is by far my favorite!
I love that idea! Thank you so much for reading Marie and I hope your daughter continues to fight anxiety! x
These are all really great alternatives for someone who is working through their self-harm journey. Thank you for sharing these!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read! x
This is a great post that I'm sure will help a lot of people who are self-harming.
Thank you so much for reading. x
Great post! I had a similar response - I have a tattoo of a dragonfly on my wrist with the statement 'You Are Enough' in French. It's the reminder I need anytime I'm struggling.
I love that idea! I have yet to get anything but I have tattoos on my arm & thighs which deter me from harming myself in my usual haunts. It does help in the long run. x
These are some great ideas. I struggle with self harm. Will give them a try. Thanks
Thank you for reading. I hope they help you in some way! x
This is a great idea on the alternatives of self-harm. I will suggest these and spread them across the internet so more can be aware!
Thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you found this informative.