When it comes to mental illness, specifically Anorexia Nervosa, there are various unhealthy rituals to look out for.
Habits and rituals give us structure to our lives. They provide a safety blanket for us to hide under in order to keep ourselves safe when things get rough.
Eating disorders are primarily kept alive by anxiety and fear. Sometimes the only way to quiet the voices in our minds is to take part in comforting rituals such as those mentioned below. However, the rituals involved with eating disorders can very easily take over our lives. They’re draining, time-consuming and can dictate a number of things; what we do, where we go, timeframes and how we feel!
How do we allow such small things to impact us so hugely?
Please note this is largely in relation to an eating disorder and is also not a definitive list.
From my experience with anorexia both dring suffering and quasi-recovery, I would weigh myself every morning compulsively. If I couldn’t weigh myself then I didn’t feel ‘safe‘. If I didn’t know what my weight was, how could I possibly know if I should be allowed to eat? And if I had lost weight then surely I needed to keep going?
Towards the end of 2018, I was weighing myself in the morning and then again at night after fasting. It stripped my confidence completely from under me if I had gained even a gram.
This is one I still struggle with. In the absence of a scale I find myself body checking in many different ways. Sometimes I catch myself and gently bring myself to the present, telling myself I don’t need to do this. Other times it happens subconsciously. I’ve been body checking for years! I use photos to body check, video, my fingers, clothing; If it can be done I will find a way!
In the early days of my anorexia during my teens I would rip food into tiny pieces. Now I deconstruct food where I can to eat them separate. That means eating each part of a sandwich or wrap using a fork and knife so that nothing is eaten together.
I wasn’t big on the measuring in my early anorexia experience, but this time something clicked within me. At one point I was weighing out cereal to exactly 30g or less, and even weighing things like fruit. I’ve since given this up completely and the only food I weigh is for my cat.
When I was younger strict mealtimes were a thing I was obsessed with. If food wasn’t out by 5.30pm in the evening I would have a meltdown. Now I’m much better with adapting to change because when you’re an adult life doesn’t always mean you can eat at the same time every day.
I try to stick to a routine as much as possible, and I know being out of routine can mean forgetting to eat / not having time to eat, and I struggle with that. I’m trying to remember to bring snacks with me everywhere I go. I’ve a reservoir of cereal bars, chocolate bars, and fruit in my backpack or handbag as often as I remember to do so. That and emergency sanitary towels and pain killers.
If a ritual or habit creates any of the following scenarios you may have an issue;
Habits are neuro-pathways in our brains. They need challenged and changed in order to form new, more healthy habits. The only way to do this is by repeating said good habits over and over until our brains say;
‘Oh! This is what we are meant to be doing now’!
In the beginning, I used various ways to remind myself of my new healthier habit.
I started using this in January 2019 and it honestly changed how I go about my mornings. It starts off gentle by adding in water and works it’s way up to eating breakfast and even exercising. Fabulous helped me establish a routine and habits because, as a perfectionist, I felt a sense of needing to keep the flow going. If I missed a day I felt like I was missing a link in the chain.
The app can be free or you can choose to pay for extras.
This was a technique I was taught by a previous therapist. It’s meant to challenge us into switching up our small habits and stepping outside our comfort zones. These habits and rituals don’t have to start off bring about food, and it’s actually better if they don’t. Instead, I focused on things like parking on a different side of the driveway or sleeping on the other side of the bed.
Once you challenge daily habits you can then start to take on food-related rituals.
There are so many other ways that you can challenge food-related rituals. You don’t have to use the methods above, I just found that they were the most helpful to me.
If you have any other tips or tricks for banishing the ritualistic gremlins feel free to tweet me or leave them in the comments below!
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Great post! As someone who has BDD I body check a lot. I find that using positive self talk helps.
Wow.... i have just realized a lot about myself in this post that I dont think I have ever really realized before.
I do have them healthy rituals like using the scale a lot even though I know I am on my period. And I tend to get more pounds during my it.But it's something that I can't avoid and I need to avoid especially at this time of quarantine.
Thank you so much for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it and it helped you to come to terms with a few things in your own life. x
I need to try Fabulous again! I downloaded it once and it looked like it was going to be so helpful, but my phone at the time was bloated and couldn't handle the app. Thank you for the reminder!!
I love the yes/no technique from your therapist... Establishing new habits can be so daunting...I imagine starting out super small and going from there is so much less scary and really gets the ball rolling.
Great post, love to read inspiring blog on how to break unhealthy rituals...
Thank you so much for reading.
Although I don't have an eating disorder, I can definitely relate to what you're saying about unhealthy habits and rituals. It's something we spoke about in my recent group CBT last year. I've definitely had my share of unhealthy habits to help with my anxiety which, in hindsight, were hindering me instead! Great post x
Thanks for reading Jenny. I'm still trying to break my unhealthy habits but, as you say, the hinder us in ways we can only see when we let them go.
I hope you're keeping well. x
My husband can be very structured with meal time. He gets cranky if he has to wait too late to eat lol. I definitely dont check really how much I'm eating and things like that but with the kids I do try to keep a snack schedule so they don't eat us out of house and home.
Thank you for reading. I used to be so rigid about my meal times but I've had to let that go over time. Especially now when time seems to have little meaning.
I don't struggle with an eating disorder, and I have an on-again, off-again relationship with my scale. But I do body check and didn't even realize it was an unhealthy habit. Thank you for making me aware! I love the ideas on breaking unhealthy rituals in here -- I will try some!
Thank you for reading. I'm glad it's been helpful! x
This is helpful for those going through this for sure. I do get cranky if meals aren't at a proper time though. I get hangry. So I try to always eat around 5 PM, but I can wait until 6 PM without getting moody.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment. x
This is so helpful! Even for people who do not suffer from eating disorders as toxic rituals can take so many forms.
i love the layout of this post!!! it's so hard to break out of rituals sometimes!!!
This is helpful for everyone, it's always good to take stock in rituals that may not be best for us. I loved all this information and I appreciate you compiling it.
Thank you for reading. I'm glad you find it helpful .x