There’s no getting away from bad days. They’re part of being human and although life would be much better without them, they help us to appreciate the good times. But for some of us bad days can feel like every day and for others, it’s a rare occurrence. No matter what side of the coin you’re on bad days are horrible and infectious not only to you but everyone around you.
The day after I returned from a vacation in March ’19 was a pretty bad day for me. I’d broken my nose in a freak accident (entirely my fault) and the vacation itself was a write off for various reasons. But things were only starting, and when I found out a few weeks later that my grandfather was dying from terminal cancer, it felt as if someone had run me over with a steam roller. Self-care was the last thing on my list.
I took to napping during the day and going home to help whenever I could. Being constantly on the go kept my mind from going completely off the edge, but it eventually got to the point where I could feel myself burning out. My weight was falling, food restriction was creeping back in and yoga had all but been forgotten. When I finally slowed down and realised what I was doing, I cursed myself for falling into the habit of forgetting about myself again.
How do you begin to practice self-care when you don’t feel deserving of it? Good question! Every morning I get of bed I have to fight with myself to take my medication, to eat, not to weigh, etc. The list of horrible things I could do to hinder my recovery is endless while the list of self-care options is seemingly pointless. I know that any of those negative things could make or break my day and yet I still want to stick by them? Really? It makes no sense, but neither does mental illness.
When things get tough I try to think about what makes me feel better. I start with the easiest on the list which could be a quick nap, a shower or binge-watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine. But sometimes it takes a lot more and I have to actively remove myself from my thoughts. As counter-productive as that sounds burying myself in heavy metal and power-walking to clear my head is sometimes the most cathartic thing I can do for myself in the midst of a breakdown.
There’s nothing wrong with having a bad day. What’s important is that we don’t let one day translate into a bad week or month or year.
For many people emotions can be tricky. I personally find it difficult to feel anything other than negative emotions, as if I’m almost too afraid to allow the positive in for longer than a second. It’s not uncommon and in fact, many people are stuck within a negative bias mindset when it comes to feeling. Often it because we tend to judge ourselves for how we feel, worry about how others will judge us, or quite often we fear to be positive and joyful because we’ve been let down in the past.
No matter what way you put it emotions are complicated!
Accepting and allowing ourselves to experience all emotions is arguable one of the most important types of self-care that there is. If we’re unable to cope and process negative emotions, then how can we possibly move forward and begin to heal? We need to feel a vast range of emotions; Good and bad! Allow the negative emotions into your life, sit with them, welcome them like visitors BUT don’t let them set up camp!
Learn how emotional avoidance can be connected to food issues.
Sometimes we just need someone to listen to us. Talking to others can help rationalise what we’re feeling and give us the support we need to come out of a rut. Make sure that you have a trusted friend or family member that you can call on in times of need (and vice versa).
Failing that there are various helplines available with volunteers ready and willing to help you through it.
Keeping in contact with loved ones is especially important during the current pandemic. COVID-19 has thrown a lot of us off our game and has caused quite a bit of upheaval. For those having to self-isolate, it can be the breaking of their recovery. As hard as it might be, make sure you keep in touch with your loved ones from a safe distance. Us the technology that the 21st century has given you and call your bestie for a virtual coffee!
Remember; Water is your friend. It can make you feel surprisingly better in a bad situation. I always keep a trusty (re-useable) water bottle with me at all times!
Who knew something so simple could be classed as an act of self-care? I certainly didn’t!
Please remember to eat. As much as it causes me discomfort I know that I need to keep myself nourished. It not only helps physically but mentally too. If you’ve ever heard of the term ‘hangry’ you’ll know what I mean. Food is important in order to regulate our blood sugars which can be a big reason why our emotions are in the weeds.
I might be among one of the few that actually finds showering to be relaxing. When I feel myself becoming overly anxious or distressed, I often take myself to the shower in order to calm down. It’s almost as if the water washes away all the tension in my bones and allows me to take some much needed deep breaths.
So, next time you’re feeling overwhelmed why not try a simple shower to give yourself the space to breathe? If you prefer a bath grab some bath salts or a bath bomb, perch the laptop at a safe distance, throw on a good show and relax.
(Warning; Make sure cats are kept at a safe distance)
Do you need some bath bombs? Check out the Self-Care gift guide where you can find all sorts of goodies to buy yourself or others!
Sometimes the simplest way to feel good is to look after your body. Treat yourself to a face mask, new body lotion or even a hair wrap! For the gentlemen out there with beards that would put grizzly-Adams to shame, why not pick up a beard grooming kit?
There’s a reason we’re encouraged to pamper ourselves in recovery and it’s not to feed our inner vanity. It’s to show ourselves that we’re worth the effort and that we deserve to be treated like VIPs.
One word; Netflix. Queer Eye, Ru Paul, Breaking Bad, Rick & Morty. I could go on, and on, and on.
Netflix has added some bangers in the last few months. If you have a whole day to spend (let’s be honest, you do) then Tiger King is a rabbit hole you need to get dragged into!
As I mentioned sometimes we just need to take care of simple things. Napping isn’t necessarily a hobby (although it should be) so if you’re feeling low on energy pick up a book or easy to manage video game. If you enjoy being creative but can’t bring yourself to open your sketchbook, why not try colouring in an adult colouring book?
Do some yoga or go for a short walk if you’re feeling up to it. Exercise isn’t the answer to all life’s problems, but it can help release pent up stress that we may have built inside.
Remember: the UK government has stated that we’re allowed one hour of outdoor exercise a day. Personally I take a walk late at night or early in the morning when fewer people are likely to be around. Fresh air and natural light can do wonders for our mood.
If you’re feeling low on energy and have the option, allow yourself to take a nap. Don’t feel guilty about feeling exhausted!
Note: Become aware of where the exhaustion is coming from. Is it mental, physical or emotional exhaustion? This can make a big difference to what needs done in order to shift it! Naps, although helpful, can become a coping mechanism in themselves and that’s where self-care shifts to self-soothing.
Cats and dogs are proven to reduce stress! Get cuddling.
*This is an old post which has been updated to include various points for COVID-19. Please remember to stay at home when you can and practice social distancing. With that being said remember the vulnerable, elderly and disabled around you. Check on them, offer to do grocery runs and leave them at their door, have a chat and a coffee through the window. Now is the time we need to pull together as a society while also staying apart.
Above all be mindful of your own health. Stay safe.
** If you like what I do please consider donating to my KO-FI fund. I’d like to be able to reach more of an audience so I can potentially grow this blog to be much more than it currently is. I also hope to bring freebies and eventually toolkits to you all as a way of saying thank you for your support.
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Fab post! I struggle a lot with self care especially when I've got a massive list of stuff I need to do but I'm very slowly getting better at it. My go to is most definitely a boxset or a stand-up DVD! Xx
Great tips right here! I think people tend to forget to indulge under duress but those hard times are when we needed it the most!
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment :)
I really like how you mention to feel what you feel. That does a lot for me. And definitely staying hydrated and eating healthy. Thanks for this post!
Lots of good options for activities when you're having a bad day. I usually listen to music, busy myself with a project or take a bath or a hike.
These are all great ways to self care. I am so busy taking care of everyone else that I forget myself some times. Drinking water is so helpful yet i forget this often.
These are great! I especially love the one allowing yourself to feel. I am working on that . Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment :)
Good post.
I've just started weighing myself several times a day, as I triggered myself because I've put on a bit of weight. I'm now slightly overweight of what my BMI should be according to my height...and age etc...It scared the shit out of me, and triggered me badly and I've been restricting my food intake. I'm not allowing myself any treats. I'm hungry, and I've been killing myself with exercise...
Please take care of yourself! My advice to you would be throw the scales away before they do any more damage! They are so, so triggering. It's so hard coping with your own body image issues and not knowing what to do, and I know it might seem easy for me to sit here and tell you what to do, but believe me those scales are the catalyst for disaster!
I struggle around scales. If they are in the house at all it's as if they pull me in and smother me with the need to weigh. That need won't go until I've done what I'm told!
If you need to talk I'm here.
xx
Fabulous tips! Great Post as always ❤️
https://jessierenea.com/your-past-prepares-you-for-who-you-are-to-become/
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment :)
I really needed to read this.
It's so easy to forget to look after yourself when some days are a struggle from the moment you open your eyes in the morning. It's important to remember that it is okay to feel what we are feeling but that we shouldn't wallow in that feeling for too long. Sometimes all it takes is a little bit of effort to brighten up one's day.
I'll be sure to bookmark this post and come back to it as often as possible to remind me to take care of myself.
I hope you are doing well and that the bad days don't get you down.
Thank you so much for sharing.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment! Especially today when you needed it most.
This is a great post! Thank you for the reminder to take care of ourselves. I will be using these tips!
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment :) I hope these tips were in some way helpful.
These are some good ideas. Taking care of yourself is so important!
One thing I do when having a bad day is cleaning. It always gives me a sense of relief.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. It means so much to me.
This is awesome! I love the tips with the gifs. These are some great key points that I am going to remember for myself!
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment :D
Love these tips! It's amazing what a difference being hydrated and having some good food makes :) x
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! Hydration is so, so important and so many people don't realise what a difference it can make!
It's so easy to forget about the basics in a moment like that - drink water, have something to eat, get a good night's sleep, etc. Thank you for this important reminder!
Thank you for taking the time to read! x
This are wonderful tips. We all need to understand that having a bad day is normal and shouldn't define us
Exactly Abbey! Well said! x