** This is not necessarily a positive post. This could be triggering for some. You guys know yourselves, so please read with caution. This post is a reminder to myself, and to you all as well, that I’m human. I’m not perfect or doing this recovery stuff perfectly. I’m struggling, which is normal in theRead more
I have felt physically ill, I have found my self shaking, I have felt so light headed I could see dots in front of my eyes, I have vomited, I have had chronic stomach issues (ongoing for the last year and a half) and I have had terrible sleeping patterns for the majority of my adult life.
You’re so evil and manipulative that I can’t function without you some days. Other days you are pushed to the back of mind. Then 2.00 a.m rolls in and I’m awake and counting everything I’ve eaten that day with a sense of panic in my gut.
Here’s the thing: I finished it in just under two days (not hard, it’s a small book) and have even noted some key or interesting information that I hadn’t thought of before.
One important thing to remember is that you deserve help just like everyone else. It’s taken me longer than I care to admit to actually realise that and occasionally I still have to convince myself that I have a right to take up space in this world.
For the first time in my life, and during my third time in eating disorder recovery, I am aware of my avoidance and fear of emotion, and how that impacts on my mental health.